God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
These are easy words to say. They are much harder to live. Over the years, I have found my family’s orchard to be a great teacher to accept what I cannot change, to find the courage to do the work needed to be done, and to know the difference.
All three parts are equally challenging.
I find it hard to know when to accept that I can’t change things. I try to shape and pressure nature into accepting my will. I try to bully it into doing what I want. Planting vegetable plants when a frost is predicted leads to dead plants. Sun loving flowers can’t be planted in shady areas. Poison ivy can’t be weeded with bare hands. I learned that bending nature to my will hurt me in real ways.
Learning to breathe, take a step back and acknowledge that nature knows better than me was a hard pill to swallow. Accepting that something was more powerful than me was tough. But it was necessary. I shake my head at the amount of time I wasted on tasks that were doomed to failure.
If accepting what I couldn’t change was hard than finding the courage to change what I can was harder. Rarely is a job easy at an orchard. You want to add a new fruit? You need to research how to grow the fruit. You need to find out if the fruit can grow in your area and in your soil. Planting trees requires digging deep holes. Gardens need to be irrigated and weeded. This is work, hard work if the summer is hot. It takes courage to take on new jobs or make changes in an established business.
Change of any kind is scary. It’s so much easier to just continue to do what you have always done. Nature says: “Oh No” to that. Nature is always changing: new pests, different weather, snow in May, hail in August. You rise to the challenge, pull on your big girl pants and move forward.
Cue: me laughing hard
The Wisdom to know the difference?!
That’s a constant challenge. My life experience and others’ when added to education are the only givers of wisdom I know.
I have had to think, reflect on what I have gone through or what I have read for a while to gain wisdom. Wisdom hasn’t come to me rapidly. I have rarely had an ‘Aha’ moment.
How to tease out the difference? How can I find a quiet place and the time to discern what can’t be changed with what needs to be changed? Especially in a world that appears to demand quick action. Frost is coming, there is a new pest in the orchard, there is a drought. It takes discipline NOT to make a decision and jump to it. To stop and think: “what is the right choice?” requires wisdom, maturity, patience.
Nature is a hard but effective teacher if you have the patience to listen and learn.
What can you do if you don’t have an orchard?
You can start a garden in your backyard or patio. Or buy a houseplant. Or start plants from seeds. Tend them. Learn from them.
Accept what you can not change. Find the courage to change what you can. Gain the wisdom to know the difference.
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