The Skill of Listening
As a speech language pathologist, I help many of my patients improve their ability to understand others. I teach them how to listen not just hear. Listening is an important skill to have in order to function safely and happily in the world. It’s a skill that I know I need to refresh from time to time. I also meet and communicate with people who could also benefit from helpful times on how to improve your listening skills.
First, what is NOT listening:
1. Preparing your response to what the other person is saying as they are making their comments.
2. Watching television, listening to the radio, looking out the window and doing anything that distracts from what the speaker is saying.
What is listening:
1. Giving the speaker your full attention. Turn off any distractions: radios, TV. Move to another location if there is too much activities where you are.
2. If you do not understand the speaker, ask them to restate what they are saying another way. Professionals such as doctors, car mechanics and IT employees use their own terms that prevent others from understanding them. Ask them to use ordinary words.
3. If you can not hear a speaker, you can ask them to talk louder but also ask them to talk slower and clearer. Turning up the volume of your voice is like turning up the volume on the radio. If the sound is too loud, it is distorted and hard to hear.
Please keep in mind that when people believe they are not being listening to, they can become angry, frustrated. They may end the conversation before goals are achieved or end the relationship completely. Communication is vital for society to function whether it is trading in the marketplace, finding a workable compromise in government or maintain a marriage in your home. Listening is the heart of communication.
Enjoy!
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